


Even in Death

by myxstorie



Category: Japanese Actor RPF, Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2003664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myxstorie/pseuds/myxstorie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning for character death. For Crys, who requested psycho murdering jin for the "Never Will I Ever..." fic meme. I really enjoyed writing this, as sadistic as that may sound XD</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even in Death

Those who had known Jin in his youth always wonder how such a nice boy could do such a thing.

Those who had known Jin later in life say much of the same thing, although most of them leave out the 'nice boy' part.

He always seemed so normal, they say. Maybe a little misguided, but his heart was in the right place.

But then, they go on to say, he never did have a normal upbringing. High-school dropout, thrust into stardom at such an early age, it must have affected him in some way.

The nosier ones point out that he never did seem to enjoy female company that much, and they could count on one hand the number of girls they'd seen on his arm.

He liked to party, too, they say. Must have liked his alcohol, maybe it was a party trick that went horribly wrong. It can't have been money; maybe it was drugs that drove him to it.

And to such a good friend, too. That young Yamashita was always by Jin's side, always had a smile to show, stood by him through thick and thin.

Until what was supposed to be the most important day of Yamashita's life. Until Jin had gone and done such a terrible thing, stolen the poor boy's life away with his own bare hands.

Maybe it was an accident, the reporters say. A moment of blind rage, the businessmen say. Maybe he just finally lost it, the housewives say.

Whatever it was, something must have changed in the moments when Jin stood there and watched his best friend die. Saw the blood on his hands, the fear in the other man's eyes. Something drove him to turn that blade on himself, driving it deep and hard - he hadn't wanted to be saved. Couldn't be saved, the doctors say. Shouldn't be saved, the papers say.

They over-think and speculate and gossip, but not once does one of them ever come up with the truth.

Not one of them ever thinks of love.

Not one of them ever pictures the scenario; years of friendship, but more than that, of unrequited love. Years of standing in the sidelines, of being strung along by secret kisses and words of affection in the dark whilst girl after girl take their place by Yamapi's side. Every one of them having what Jin longed for with all his heart, more than just a sly kiss here and a knowing smile there.

Not one of them ever thinks to go back to that day, the day he'd told Jin he was getting married.

"I'm sorry," he'd said, "I love you, I do, but I can't do this anymore. I want a family. I want _her_ family."

Had they known, not one of them would have been able to count the number of pieces Jin's heart broke into.

They wonder what Yamapi's wedding would have been like, had he lived to go through with it. The details are never released; all that's seen is the tear-streaked face of his bride-to-be, sparkling white dress crumpled and torn, with a battered pink lily in her hair. Would Jin have stood by his side, they wonder, and been the best man Yamapi always wanted? Would he have lost the rings, or had too much to drink at the reception and told one too many embarrassing stories? Would Yamapi's smile have been as radiant as ever, with his beautiful wife and devoted best friend by his side?

Maybe, they decide, if he'd ever gotten that far.

They never picture _Jin's_ face, tears streaming down his cheeks as he confronts his best friend in the back of the church.

"You're really going to go through with it, aren't you?" He says, "You're really going to marry her."

They never picture the resolution in Yamapi's eyes as he says he is.

He had so much life left to live, the articles print. So much left to do, could have gone worldwide, if he'd been given the chance. Both of them, they could have done it together.

They never talk about the way Jin's hand shook as he approached his friend, the way Yamapi backed away until he could move no more.

They never talk about how they'd begged - "Please don't," Yamapi says. "Please don't," Jin says - or about how when the blade slid in, Yamapi hadn't fought.

Came from behind, the coroners claimed. Never expected it, no sign of a struggle.

"I'm sorry," Jin says.

"I'm sorry," Yamapi says.

It's never released to the public that the blade had gone in from the front.

No-one is ever told how they find the bodies. Lying there together, arms and legs entangled like two lovers caught in the midst of their slumber, if not for the pool of crimson surrounding them. Their faces are smooth, relaxed, peaceful. Content. Always together, they'd promised each other. Always together even now. Even in death. Even in love.

No.

Not one person, not a single soul, ever dreams to think about love.


End file.
